One of a Narcoleptic's toughest choices

I wake up this morning ... and by wake-up I of course mean I hear my first alarm at 7:00am, hit snooze every five minutes until 7:25 and then I slowly arise with such dread and difficulty you might think I was getting up to go be executed that day ...

As I stumble to the bathroom, which as we just noted is my version of "waking up", I know that I need to get ready and get out the door by a quarter till 8. Trying to squeeze 30 minutes of getting ready activities into about 15 minutes is no small task and inevitably this flight of a bumblebee will result in a lot of swearing and me being a few minutes late.

While putting my contacts I really start to come to; oh how I love the fresh sting of contact solution in the morning! My eyeballs readjust to the familiar feeling of sight, and as the fog of Narcolepsy lifts I begin cursing myself. It's not the first time I've gone through process this week. It seems that every morning I need to get up by a certain time I inevitably don't, and as I come to this realization I kick myself for not getting up earlier. Today, I know that I won't be back in the room until 2pm so I need time to make sure I have everything for the day and that I get a solid breakfast.

Looking in the mirror however, I realize that miraculously, this morning is one of the few mornings the bed-head monster didn't visit. Granted my shaggy mane is a little flat and matted down ... it's not exactly Pantene Pro V commercial worthy hair, but with a little combing I know that I could get by without showering.

I weigh my options: Do I shower, and have gorgeous hair, or do I eat breakfast? I won't be picking any hot babes up with the hair, but I'd have a full stomach and be prepared for the day.

The decision takes me about .02 seconds. I return to my room, hunt for my trusty blue comb and begin attacking my scalp. As I eat two bowls of Apple Jacks ten minutes later, I know that I totally made the right decision.

Thank God for Deodorant and the wonders a little water and a comb can do to one's hair (okay not much, but my stomach doesn't give a rat's behind about my dome).

And that ladies and gentleman meant that I arrived on time and ready to go this morning.

Epilogue:
This occurrence is so rare I think the Mayor is considering canceling all city activities to throw me a town parade this afternoon. I'd be watching Wolf Blitzer on CNN too... A story like this could get really huge really fast! Just don't believe the rumors about my drug abuse and affairs with Marilyn Monroe on Nancy Grace later tonight. I did not have sexual relations with that woman!