Coping with Hallucinations: Get a Feline?!?

At the Talkaboutsleep.com Narcolepsy Forum, a fellow Narcoleptic cited that one problem with auditory hallucinations (see previous post I and II) is trying to figure out if what you heard is real or not. Nothing is as frustrating as thinking you heard something, but not knowing if you're just crazy or if you actually heard it and need to go check it out. Well, this poster cited that one way to deal with the problem is getting a cat.

My family has three cats, and let me tell you, I have no idea why this thought didn't cross my mind before, but it's absolutely brilliant! Here's what the post had to say:

Are you one of those people who spends up to an hour trying to fall asleep, only to be jolted awake by the sound of ? And then, aside from completely waking you up, you have to decide whether or not the sound might have really happened and if you need to get up to investigate?

If so, have I got the solution for you!!

Get (one or more) cats. Yes, aside from all their other proven health benefits (such as mutual lowering of blood pressure and cortisol levels) and emotional benefits, I have found my kitties to be an important mitigator of this annoying narcolepsy symptom.

When you get jolted awake by a sound, all you have to do is glance down to your feet or wherever your kitties are sleeping (not to worry, they'll ALWAYS sleep on the bed with you - it's the feline way). If they are sitting bolt upright and looking with extreme alertness in the same direction, then the noise actually happened. However, if they are still deeply asnooze, then you can be assured that not only did the noise not happen in your immediate vicinity, it had absolutely no chance of happening within about a 6 block radius. (Cats' hearing is ridiculously acute, and many times better than ours. We often think of dogs as having excellent hearing, but cats hear even better than dogs!) Aside from their great hearing, cats are also very LIGHT sleepers (a genetic trait to keep them always alert to potential predators; thus the term "cat nap" meaning a short, light nap), so there's no chance they'd actually sleep through any noise that would have startled you.

Okay, it won't stop the hypnogogic hallucinations from occurring, but it will eliminate any stress you might have over whether or not the noise was real. Now that I only need to open my eyes (one of my cats sleeps right at neck level with me, sharing my pillow) to see that my kitty is unfazed and still dreaming about chasing wild fishies across the plains of the Serengeti, anxiety doesn't even get a chance to arise and I can go back to the business of falling asleep right away.

(Now, if only I could do something about the visual hallucinations. Although they occur much less frequently and they don't particularly stress me out, I just HAVE to keep opening my eyes so as not to miss out on what the giant pink crystalline spiders are going to do to my wall next.)

Oh, and if you do take my advice, be sure to support your local Humane Society, ASPCA, or other animal shelter and adopt a kitty who is looking for a loving, permanent family. And get back to sleep

- Sam-I-Am

There is one problem, however, to this plan. My cats used to sleep with me all of the time, particularly this one. However, two summer's ago, in the middle of the night, I believe I kicked her off the bed. I mean like a strong horse kick mid-dream. I'm not certain. I could have dreamt it. But it explains why not only that cat, but none of the cats will sleep me during the night anymore. I hope PETA isn't reading this ... I don't want to be arrested for animal cruelty, I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! THE ONE ARMED DOG DID IT! I HAVE PROOF!